He felt like it was coming but wasn't sure when.
So the guys who have been together just about every day for so many years decided to get together and have a bonfire to celebrate the end of an era.
There was good food and a game of 007 which was pretty fun since this particular family lives in their own compound so no risk of other cars hitting the children.
Basically we all started in one corner of the compound and there were two golf carts trying to spot you with a flashlight before you made it to the base at the other side of the compound.
Pretty fun.
To cap off the evening there was a bonfire to burn many old work things and liberate from IBM.
Meanwhile... for many years we had been trying for a baby. Six had always felt like the right number for our family, and many prayers had been said trying to get that baby here.
I had actually come to the point where I was praying instead to feel fine with getting a no answer instead of getting a baby.
I was coming to terms with it. Although doubting my own ability to receive revelation for myself as I had always felt so strongly.
Not wanting to be repetitive to my Heavenly Father I had stopped praying about it altogether. And had actually started preventing so that I wouldn't have the feelings of disappointment every month. If theres no chance to get ones hopes up, better protection for the heart.
Then in November I went to Time out For Women. There was a woman there who spoke and I knew she was speaking to me about how important it was not to give up on the righteous desires of our hearts and that our Heavenly Father would not want us to give up. She was only there for me. I felt overwhelmed by the spirit and wanted to sob all the way home.
I tentatively started to pray about it again but was really having a hard time letting my guard down.
In December Andrew approached me about seeing a fertility dr. Something we had talked about before but it seemed silly, we had 5 children so easily! But we had passed 3 1/2 years trying now.
I of course said no at first. Too painful. Too expensive. (he hadn't lost his job yet)
But later that day I said well if you can find a dr. I guess...
He called me back 30 minutes later to tell me he had set us up an appointment with a dr. that next week.
I was a little shocked.
We went to the consultation and I wondered if he would say, Hey you've got 5 kids, why are you here?!
But he was so nice and did some of the blood work they needed.
We set up to get some other tests and had a plan to get together when all the results were back.
I had to wait till day three of my next cycle for the last test.
So it was a waiting game till January 5th to set it up.
I'm not very good at waiting....
But January 5th finally came.
It was a fast Sunday and we had just started our new church time of 2;30-5:30
There was a court of honor that night so we rushed home to eat. I made breakfast for dinner.
Pancakes, hashbrowns, eggs, orange juice... It was yummy.
I happened to look at the clock after prayer was said over the food and when we finished.
8 minutes!
All of the sudden I felt terrible! I must have eaten too fast. But the feeling of vomit passed and we were off to the court of honor.
I hadn't started but I also knew I was waiting for it which can throw things off. Stupid. Right. The more stressed you are about it the more it can hold off.... Whats that all about anyways?
Well by Wednesday I still hadn't started and I thought well I will go get a test and then I will feel at ease with an answer and I will probably start right then.
This had happened before.... a few times.
Anyway I took the test and immediately it turned positive and not just a little! So very dark was the line. I just stood there in disbelief! I of course was crying and thinking how Heavenly Father was having a little chuckle to himself. Could the timing be more interesting?!
I had even asked Andrew if he still wanted to go to the dr. as he was about to be unemployed. He did.
Apparently Heavenly Father was waiting to see if we were really serious.
I called the dr. to tell them I didn't need the last test because I had a positive pregnancy test in my hand. They did some blood work to confirm and the nurse called me back to tell me that I was indeed pregnant and had very high hcg levels.
I was still in shock.
We were of course thrilled and know that there is a divine plan for our family and it will all work out the way it is supposed to. I am so glad I didn't give up and our children are thrilled to have a new sibling! How many 13 year old boys jump off the couch and shout for joy hearing there will be a baby in the house again?! Well Gunner did.
Our little peanut.
I don't fell stressed out about it. I feel really calm actually.
Although I don't know if it's because I'm older now, but I sure am weepy and I have never been this way!
We are loving Mom Docs and hoping for a very succesful vbac. September 14th is our due date.
I may not wear jeans again till I'm not pregnant anymore. But thank goodness for maxi skirts.
